Tuesday, 24 February 2009

An letter of complaint to the producers of Deadwood

Dear Mr Milch and HBO

I am respectfully writing to you as per the request of my poor aged mother, now well past her 60th birthday, who discovered Deadwood only in the last year and has now viewed all three seasons of the Emmy and Golden Globe award winning show.

She rang me this morning in much consternation over the show and asked me to facilitate the forwarding of the following sentiments to you. I feel it best to quote her directly as she was quite flustered and I feel an accurate transcription of her request would better communicate her feelings to you regarding the television programme, as well as reflect the impact this show has had upon her life.

“What the fuck were you fucking thinking introducing me to that fucking show? You couldn’t fucking mention the cocksucking producers had cancelled the fucking thing before the storylines were fucking resolved? I just sat through three, count them three, motherfucking seasons of it for fucking nothing. Nothing! I want you to get on to those motherfucking bastards and tell them that if they don’t produce another fucking season or at least a fucking movie to finish it off, I’ll cut their motherfucking throats and feed them to Mr Wu’s pigs; the fucking cocksuckers.”

I understand the likelihood of the promised films being produced is now unlikely. However, I ask you to please consider the emotions of my poor mother who is now reduced to watching repeats of Star Trek and Upstairs Downstairs; shows she previously enjoyed but now finds has inadequately-bland dialogue and a lack of sex scenes involving corsets.

Thanks and regards
The Recapper

Addendum: I should add that one of the 'Spot On' selections for this post is from my mother, who rang me up this evening after reading it and said, "are the producers going to read this?". When I broke it to her that no, it was highly unlikely, she said "umph" and hung up on me; however I think she'd just finished cooking dinner or something.

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