Saturday, 28 November 2015

Het Huis Anubis: Episode 5, 6, 7, 8, 9 and 10

It's 10 o'clock. Victor wants everyone in their rooms in five minutes and then he wants to be able to hear a pin drop.

All the kids are scurrying around but Appie saunters by unconcerned. After all, they still have three minutes. He even whistles just to annoy Victor. The pin drops and Appie shrieks  from his room like a banshee just to piss off Victor even more.

In his office, Victor is complaining to Corvus that the house is now a boarding school. I don't understand why his own house could be turned into a boarding school against his will? Maybe this is an order from the Society? You know, the one I'm not going to pretend I don't know about yet. Either way, Victor hates the "spoiled brats" disturbing his peace and quiet.

It's Victor's most interesting trait that he loathes the life he's determined to cling onto.

There's lurking going on!

It's Appie, who lures Victor out of his office so he can steal the attic key for Nienke's hazing. He hides behind a suit of armour that I don't remember seeing either before or since. But convenient!

He goes back to his room where he, Jeroen and Patricia are conspiring. Patricia here is being mean at this stage as a kind of catharsis and because she just wants Nienke to go away. Appie mostly thinks pranks are just good, clean fun. And Jeroen is whispering in everybody's ears, encouraging their worst aspects for his own enjoyment. In this version, he doesn't come off as an insecure ass but a genuine sociopath.

In Nienke and Amber's room, Amber is raving about Mick and the bracelet and how amazing it all is while Nienke is trying to sleep. We need this reminder about the bracelet because then it's...

...the next morning. There's bathroom hijinks (this boarding house has only one bathroom and one toilet? Really?) before breakfast and Amber is trying to win Mick's love by feeding him again before seeing that he also gave Mara a bracelet to thank her for helping him study.

Mara says she and Amber are now "like sisters' in what is the most tone-deaf thing I've heard a character say so far. Mick enters the room and of course Amber loses it and throws a glass of water in his face. Patricia says, "Oh look, Amber made breakfast for you." This is a) her first piece of dialogue that didn't involve the words Joyce and/or Nienke and b) considering Amber's ongoing Hausfrau routine, is hands down the best line ever.

Meanwhile, Nienke has gone to visit her grandmother where she runs into Sarah who gives her the locket. Which is huge, by the way. Like, massively huge. So huge that no human could or would wear it. Why? So she'd be forced to carry it in her pocket rather than around her neck? I have no idea. This is not a locket; it's a training weight.

Sarah does her crazy old lady routine with the 'dark house, dark shadow' warning, and then the person who did the subtitles for this really loses the plot. So, Sarah says she can see that Nienke has the power to break the curse. She says there's a treasure in the house that Nienke has to find and hide. (It's already hidden so she's telling Nienke to find it and then re-hide it but Nienke doesn't think this request is strange so I won't either).

So far, so Sibuna.

But then the subtitles tell me someone will never be unravelled as long as the treasure is in the black night with the twinkling stars. And I get she's supposed to be losing the thread of the conversation herself but... ?unravelled? A person? No clue.

Nienke, rattled and a bit disturbed, comes back home and is, of course, jumped by the Anubis Initiation Team who tell her she has to go up to the attic at midnight and bring something back. Because the attic is forbidden, Fabian (oh Fabian, my Fabian) is concerned about the consequences if she gets found. Patricia tells him he needs to choose between her and Nienke.

At midnight, they gather around the attic door while Victor does something weird involving dead animals in his office. Nienke goes up into the attic. Of course, someone makes a noise so they all scatter to their rooms while Appie (really? Appie?) locks Nienke in and returns the key to Victor's office.

Later, Amber comes barging in to Patricia's room demanding she let Nienke out before she gets eaten by ghosts. These kids are super superstitious, hey? Patricia's all like, "Hey, if that means she's gone from my life then..."

For some reason, Mara's pretty much okay with this kind of bullying which I find perplexing. This Mara doesn't actually seem that nice.

Down in the boy's room, Amber's arguing with Jeroen and Appie about Nienke. Mick washes his hands of the situation because he's having "How to Not Do Your Relationship Any Favours" kind of day. Fabian (oh Fabian, my Fabian) comes in and of course he's furious that Nienke's locked in the attic. He and Jeroen have a fight about it in which Fabian says many true things that will no doubt secretly hurt Jeroen's feelings or something. Because stoking people's worst instincts and then watching them go is his thing and Fabian (oh Fabian, my Fabian) seems to have his measure more than most.

Amber and Fabian (oh Fabian, my Fabian) try to work out what to do and decide they need to go to Victor and tell him they're responsible for Nienke being in the attic and that it's a joke.

Meanwhile, on the attic stairs but not actually yet in the attic, there's mice and lots of blank looks from Nienke who's ?scared?, ?annoyed?, ?intrigued?, ?determined?, ?resigned?, ?hungry?. Who would ever know? Crack an expression. Please. She remembers what Sarah said about the treasure and goes looking for it. Only joking. She just keeps sitting there. This is the world's most exciting protagonist right here.

Then she rather epically gets herself out of the attic by using a hair pin and I have to eat my words. But only just a little.

Fabian (oh Fabian, my Fabian) and Amber see her before they throw themselves on the fire, make some kind of silly excuse and everyone gets off to bed where Amber can be impressed by Nienke's awesomeness.

The next morning the worm has turned in Nienke's direction, much to Patricia's annoyance. Everyone thinks she's brave for going into the attic and getting herself out and for once her natural quietness and silence just makes her look cool.

She goes to ride to school but realises she left her keys in the attic so can't unlock her bike. She sees Joyce's bike and notices it has the same symbol as on her locket. She goes to look but Patricia yells at her because it's Joyce's bike and reminds her she's still watching her.

I have to say, Patricia is not even vaguely sympathetic in this. At least in the American version, I felt sorry for her. This Patricia is just a vicious bully. Even at school she's giving Amber and everyone "my friend or my enemy" ultimatums and alienating them all. Mick has good grades in science for once and his gratitude to Mara doesn't go down well with Amber. Patricia then deliberately creates a situation where she tricks Mara into admitting she has a crush on Mick in earshot of Amber.

In the girls' toilet, someone has bored a hole into the wall between the bathroom and the Principal's office so they can eavesdrop. That's awesome. Patricia hears van Swieten and van Engelen discussing Joyce's disappearance and finally, finally, she has actual evidence that something weird is going on here and that there is, in fact, a conspiracy.

Realising she has to rescue her keys from the attic before Victor sees them, Nienke borrows Fabian (oh Fabian, my Fabian) bike and returns to the house; this time going right into the attic and looking around. She finds a secret room in the attic with a painting in it of Sarah - similar to the one in the locket. She finds a parchment in the back and takes it.

No magic going on here though, unfortunately. The room wasn't opened by the locket, just by touching something on the wall. Anyone could easily get into this room. So easily it makes me wonder why Victor, who owns this house, hasn't.

Speaking of Victor, he's come home and caught her in the house. She tells some lie about looking for a book and heads back to school where Patricia is trying to tell everybody about the teachers' conversation but of course they don't believe her. A whirlwind of crazy will do that.

Victor discovers something on the floor in the house. No idea. Something from the attic? Either way enough to make him suspicious.

Back at school, Nienke is looking at the parchment. It's covered in pictograms of some kind. They're not hieroglyphics so must be some kind of earlier Egyptian pictographic writing. I mean, in the show. I don't expect they're real early Egyptian pictographs. van Engelen confiscates it.

Patricia uses the lesson to grill van Engelen on Joyce's disappearance. And I hate to flog a dead horse here but she's saying that it's weird Joyce's parents haven't contacted the school when their daughter has disappeared. Except, again, she didn't disappear from school. She just didn't come back from holidays. And that's all van Engelen has to say. But of course for some reason she doesn't.

As they're leaving the classroom Fabian (oh Fabian, my Fabian) steals the parchment back from van Engelen's desk. Flove. Nothing says Daniel Jackson in training like some minor larceny.


It's 10pm and Victor wants to hear a pin drop and Amber is in bed telling Nienke about the conversation she overhead between Patricia and Mara. Nienke gives her the great advice to tell Mick how she feels. And considering how obtuse the guy can be, that's a really good idea. He has no idea that Amber's jealous of Mara so of course he hasn't changed his behaviour to ward her. Amber, whose romantic ideas really were formed in the 19th century and are therefore about as useful, says she's not going to because "he's the boy and he has to fight for her".

Bad romance novels really do have a lot to answer for. And I still can't blame Twilight.

Mara and Patricia are also talking, firstly about Patricia's festering obsession and then about Mara's crush on Mick. At this stage, I care about neither of these things.

The next day...

Nienke sees Fabian (oh Fabian, my Fabian) in what I assume is some kind of school common room? I still don't know. Fabian (oh Fabian, my Fabian) gives her the parchment back, which makes me wonder why he waited an entire day to do it. But I guess we can't have the real plot moving too fast in a season with 114 episodes.

Fabian (oh Fabian, my Fabian) says he never looked at it because he thought it was personal. And then he doesn't even hint that she should tell him what's in it. The fact she hasn't already written Nienke en Fabian voor altijd across all her notebooks is beyond me.

Meanwhile, the Amber school of romantic bad decisions is in session as she pursues a "make Mick jealous" campaign with Appie. And Patricia notices her second actual genuine clue there's something wrong: Joyce has been removed from one of the pictures in the common room.

In drama Amber chooses Appie to be her Romeo and kisses him in front of everybody. So now her insecure boyfriend is even more convinced she's not interested in him and Appie is convinced it's him she wants. Good plan!

Patricia finds more photos with Joyce removed and confronts van Swieten and van Engelen with predictable results.

Nienke decides to show Fabian (oh Fabian, my Fabian) the parchment with the pictographs. They do some research and decide it's referring to a ladder or stairs. Nienke decides to go back to the retirement home to visit her grandmother (but really to see Sarah again). As she leaves, Patricia interrogates Fabian (oh Fabian, my Fabian) about where she's going and why and demands he spy on her. Fabian (oh Fabian, my Fabian) has had enough of her stupid conspiracy theories.

Back at the house, there's a boorish confrontation between Mick and Appie and Jeroen the Puppetmaster sees his opportunity to pull everyone's strings again. He devises a plan to ostensibly do something romantic to show Amber he likes her but is of course just him getting Appie to do something stupid so he can stand on the sidelines and laugh.

In this case, it's leaving a message on Amber's bed in lollies to meet him in the laundry night at 11pm the next night (why would it be the next night? why not that night? this show drags some things out for no reason). He signs it with an edible A so of course Jeroen eats it.

Nienke finds Sarah but she's confused and doesn't recognise her. So, that trip was kind of pointless huh?

Back home again, Nienke and Amber find the message and Amber thinks it's from Mick. Because she really doesn't understand him at all. Jeroen manages to both lurk and gloat all at once, which only he could pull off. He then tells Appie she read it and is super excited about meeting him.

To quote someone else from the other version of this show, he's a real nasty piece of work.

Downstairs, Nienke and Fabian (oh Fabian, my Fabian) are working on translating the parchment while Patricia is in the room. Which I find hard to believe but it means we can see things from her perspective - Nienke and Fabian (oh Fabian, my Fabian) apparently whispering and conspiring.

Fabian (oh Fabian, my Fabian) decides it's a rebus, which is quite a complicated medieval reference for a children's show. Unless they use it in Europe in daily conversation. So the letter refers to something under the stairs, which Nienke goes to get later that night. I wish she'd do more of this stuff with Fabian (oh Fabian, my Fabian) but I'll take what I can get.

Victor catches her out of bed and is suspicious. At least until the stair she pulled up gives way and he falls down them. Heh. Funny in both versions.

The next day, Nienke and Fabian (oh Fabian, my Fabian) give a class presentation on Egypt while Patricia complains about their continuing existence. She wants to break into van Swieten's office and steals Joyce's file. Amber refuses to help so she recruits Mara.

Mara's attempt to distract van Swieten is nowhere near as funny as the 'hedgehog' story from the American version and Patricia doesn't get the file this time.

We finish off episode 10 with Amber and Appie getting ready for their dates and heading to the laundry room.

And that's all for now

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